The ability each of us has to bear grudges and distrust people not like us is something that most of us are not born with, based on the observation of young children at play. Few of us however are unfamiliar with that capacity in adulthood. If we wanted to create a fitting epitaph to Nelson Mandela, on a personal level dismantling that mechanism as far as our pride and generosity will allow would be a good start. Many of us have deeper grudges towards those who we have helped elect, than Mandela expressed towards PW Botha and his predecessors, on release from his 27 year prison sentence. Beyond the Personal there are some other elements of the life and times of Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela or as his name is pronounced in his Xhosa tongue xo’li:lala man ‘de:la that should challenge and inspire us.

His release and his subsequent work with PW Botha brought universal sufferage to a nation that had never known it before. When the election was held, two members of his tribe were staying with friends in Brighton as part of a cultural exchange through our Church. These two men came to Brighton for 6 months to teach us what they knew, and learn from us. One of them had never stayed in a domestic home that had a light switch before. They both travelled to London to cast their vote together and the excitement and sense of importance that this act created was inspiring to those of us who are sometimes tempted to spoil our ballot paper, or not even vote at all.

His willingness to work co-operatively and collaboratively with those who had clearly hated him and his people, should shame our own politicians whose own take on statesmanship is to shout at co-workers, people who are the elected representatives of you and I, from the vantage point of benches separated by each other with a distance reputed to be two sword lengths. It is inconceivable that Nelson Mandela would stand at the despatch box and hector or lecture as our Prime Ministers or Leaders of the Opposition do. One reason for this could be that a man of his stature is unsuited to confrontational politics, alternatively perhaps it is time for us to learn that true political leadership demands people who can rise above the personal criticisms and we need to remove the confrontational dynamic out of our government. It is time that Cameron and Miliband treat one another with the same level as respect as Cameron treated Xi Jinping. None of this should be taken to assume Mandela was a soft touch or simply agreed with everyone. Listening to this mornings radio interview with Tony Blair makes that clear. However he disagreed with dignity. We need Political leaders who can show their disagreement in a dignified manner, and their agreement with enthusiasm and energy.